16 weeks

People are always asking me how I'm feeling, seemingly because pregnancy has a bad rap for making women feel like shit.  Fortunately I don't really feel like shit, I am mostly just feeling tired (I sleep 9-10hr a night).  And large.  I'm in an in between stage where some of my normal clothes fit, but a lot of them don't and so getting dressed every day involves a lot of trial and error.  Also, I grow at what appears to be an exponential rate, so something that fit on Monday doesn't fit anymore on Thursday.  So far in this trimester I'm still pretty much hiding the bump, bc I basically just look chubby or like I ate too much pasta.  Despite being tired and uncomfortable all the time I still walk ~6 miles a day and work out at the gym 1-2 times a week.  I want to get this up to like 4 days a week, but that might be wishful thinking...if only that magical second trimester energy boost would kick in....  

I've been getting annoyed at the websites and pregnancy apps that say I should have glowing skin and lustrous hair now that I'm in my second trimester too.  I have neither.  My hair, while it does seem to grow faster, is also falling out faster.  My skin thinks I'm 16 years old, not 16 weeks pregnant.  So one of the feelings I experience a lot is grossness.  I have a newly bulbous body and adolescent skin and I end up putting together my outfits based on what fits today, not necessarily what looks good together.  I'm very lucky in that I can wear sweatpants, leggings and joggers to work.  I don't have to look professional, but I try to not look gross.

I always envisioned myself looking super cute during pregnancy, like with a nice round baby bump and a totally normal body otherwise.  Not so, my friend.  My body has lost muscle tone all over and so I just seem very soft.  I also retain A LOT of water so it doesn't help with the squishyness.  My broad shoulders and wide hips aren't doing me any favors right now either.  Lately I identify mostly with William "The Fridge" Perry or Sir Charles "The Round Mound of Rebound" Barkley.

All joking aside, I mostly feel tired and awkward these days, and I don't have my energy back and I'm not glowing.  Enough with your second trimester lies, Internet! One thing that isn't a lie is round ligament pain from the expanding uterus, which I definitely experience.  It's not so bad, but is sometimes sudden, and I imagine any sharp pain associated with that region could be frightening for many women. One other crazy thing is that your ligaments loosen up and stuff, which is mainly so your hips can spread and let the baby through, but this affects your whole body.  INCLUDING YOUR FEET.  Yep, my feet are now almost a whole size bigger than they were pre-pregnancy, and just because my toes are longer now.  Can't wait to see how much bigger they get when they start swelling later on!  

Happy Parasite Host Day!!

I don't know what the rules are on Mother's Day. Can you have Mother's Day before you give birth? Does motherhood begin with conception or is there an interim status, like in boxing? Maybe I'll play it safe this year and wish you a Happy Parasite Host Day!!
Congratulations on being the host body for our growing parasite! You're the best host body ever, dollface.
Aw.... isn't it cute?
Love you both!

Endometriosis

In a previous post I casually mentioned a slew of weird health problems I've experienced over the years.  One that I want to discuss today is endometriosis.  Endometriosis is a condition in which tissue from the uterus grows outside the uterus, in the abdominal cavity and on other organs.  It is cancer-like in that cells from the uterus "metastasize" to other parts of the body, where they would otherwise normally never be, and set up shop as uterine tissue.  These tissue growths respond to the normal hormonal cycles of the woman's body and bleed like a period.  They can develop into what are called "chocolate cysts," which are actually just big chunks of bleeding tissue, so called chocolate because of all the old blood they contain.  Gross, I know.  Also, endometriosis is one of the leading causes of infertility and often women only find out they have it after they've been trying, unsuccessfully, to get pregnant for months.

Anyway, I suffered from endometriosis, likely for many many years, but it was only discovered and treated about 4 years ago.  It certainly does not mean you will suffer any infertility issues, because look at me! I totally got knocked up! But I believe this is because I made a number of important lifestyle changes during the time I was suffering and after I was diagnosed and treated.  I basically had severe abdominal and pelvic pain all the time.  It took months for doctors to figure out what was wrong with me.  I actually saw 16 doctors during that ~9 month period of time and got tens of thousands of dollars worth of diagnostic testing done.  It honestly was probably over $100K worth of tests and procedures, but luckily I have great insurance and it was all mostly covered.  Phew.

Here's how it went down for me.  I saw a ton of doctors, was on prescription opioids every day for months and eventually a big shot fertility specialist was able to do an exploratory laparoscopy.  He discovered extensive endometriosis all throughout my abdominal cavity and he laser-ablated everything he could find.  At the time I was using the Nuvaring, a form of hormonal contraception.  Hormonal contraception is supposed to prevent endometriosis and is frequently used to treat it, so it was a real mystery as to how I had such extensive disease inside of me when I had been using the Nuvaring for YEARS.  At that time I had been using it for almost a decade.  I never figured out that mystery, but I did go off the ring a few months after my laparoscopy.

That is when some more crazy shit happened.  I gained about 30lb and didn't have a normal period for a year! WTF? Some doctors call this "post-birth control syndrome" and it basically means your body is super fucked up because you've been filling it with fake hormones for years.  Hormonal contraception is great for millions of people, don't get me wrong, but I will never use it again.  (Officially it's contraindicated for me now because I've had migraines with aura, but that's a tale for another day...)  Basically, since my body had been receiving fake estrogen from an exogenous source (the ring) for years it had simply stopped making its own estrogen.  This resulted in the weight gain and menstrual cycle issues, but also thinning hair and depression and osteopenia and all kinds of awesome things.

Happy ending - I got past that! Lost all the weight and got a normal cycle back.  In trying to deal with all of that, and the endometriosis before that, I went into some deep forays into nutrition.  I had been very physically active for years, mostly doing martial arts (Thai boxing, Brazilian jiu jitsu), running and weight lifting stuff, so I was in great shape, but despite working out all the time I still gained all that crazy water weight.  I had not, however, been the healthiest eater.  I thought I was, being a vegetarian for long stretches of time and eating lots of fruit and whole grains.  Little did I know at the time that all these carbs were actually killing me, and possibly contributing to my endometriosis.  I ended up changing my diet to a more paleo-esque low carb diet, which I mostly adhered to until I got pregnant.  I also took a bunch of vitamins and supplements, many of them unnecessary, but some vital to my "recovery," namely vitamin D, vitamin K, vitamin B12, methyl-folate, coconut oil and omega 3.

I initially went off birth control because hubby and I wanted to have a kid, but that didn't happen for a long time.  But 4 years later I can say that I am fertile and happy.  It took a lot of patience, giving up a lot of delicious baked goods and engaging in regular exercise.  But if you are suffering from endometriosis, or think you might be, definitely get checked out because there is no reason for you to suffer, and it is not a death sentence in terms of having children.  Hysterectomies and oophorectomies are often recommended treatments for severe endometriosis, but before you commit to such a drastic course of action, I urge you to explore all your options.  For me, laser-ablation and lifestyle changes helped immensely, but that doesn't mean it will never come back.  Unfortunately, surgical interventions aren't cures either, and the endo can always come back.

For the record, every woman's experience is different and I am neither for nor against the use of hormonal contraception or surgical interventions when it comes to other women.  I'm simply relating what my own experience was, and hopefully I am able to let another woman out there know that she isn't alone with these female struggles.

 

Me, < 100lb before my laparoscopy for endometriosis, when 

I could hardly eat because my abdominal pain was too severe  

Me, preggos(!) ~130lb, I eat all the time now! 

The First Trimester

This is our little stinker, who I think looks like Daddy...

Today I'll summarize my first trimester.  Overall it was not so bad.  I've heard some real horror stories about constant vomiting and stuff and I thankfully have not had to deal with that.  I guess I'll start at the beginning, and this is not how it is for everyone, but I knew I was pregnant right away.  My body basically had PMS on steroids shortly after my ovulation date which made me suspect something was up.  My boobs got HUGE and hurt so bad.  I also had spotting about 10 days after ovulation, which my doctor said was implantation bleeding.  This is pretty common, but not everyone gets it.  I knew definitively that I was pregnant when I was so tired one day that I TOOK A NAP! Now, if you know me well you know that I NEVER nap, unless I am really sick.  So the fact that I took a nap on a normal Saturday afternoon is bonkers. I took a pregnancy test the next day and voila! Just so happens that the hubby and I went on a little double date the night before and drank several bottles of wine...whoops! 

That was 5 weeks in, and the worst for me in terms of fatigue was really 4-8 weeks. After that I think I had 1 normal week where I felt OK and then I got the flu.  That shit is sooo much worse when you are pregnant, as your immune system is suppressed so that you don't reject your fetus.  The day before I got the flu I had a CRAZY migraine, preceded by an aura.  I had never experienced an aura before and it was totally wacky.  Super trippy, sparkly lines and crazy weird visuals and also blind spots.   I was initially really freaked out because I was going blind and I thought and me and my baby must be dying or something.  Then I did a quick inquiry with Dr. Google and came to the conclusion that it was just a migraine and I hightailed it home in a taxi.  By the time I got home, the headache was setting in. My doctor said that unfortunately if you've had migraines before they tend to be even worse when you're pregnant because of all the hormone craziness.  Lucky me.

When I "woke up" (I use this term loosely here because I didn't really sleep much that night due to the migraine) the next day I still had the migraine and I also had the body aches and pains that signify the flu.  All downhill from there. Two weeks and four seasons of Person of Interest later I was finally on the mend.  My sister-in-law recommended that show because one of the main characters is a dog that looks like my dog.  Luckily there are like a million episodes per season so it got me through the flu.  Post-flu I have still had issues with congestion which wake me up every night when I can't breathe.  It's pretty great.  Interrupted sleep is the worst, but I suppose it's preparing me for when the baby is actually here and I need to feed every 3 hours....

Other than the flu the first trimester was not so bad, I was still able to work normally and work out 2-3 times a week.  I had nausea, but no vomiting, and as long as I ate certain things this was easily tolerated.  I was a little bummed that most of what my body seemed to tolerate was carbs, but since I actually really love those things and only avoid them because they are bad for you I considered it some sort of freebie.  If baby wants bagels, then baby is gonna get bagels! Bagels, pierogies, pasta and rice have all been very popular.  I fortunately do not crave anything sweet yet, just salty, sour and spicy.  I read that this means you're having a boy.  We shall see....Oh, also! I gained 10lb in the first few weeks and not much after that.  This is WAY more than you're supposed to gain in the first trimester, but my doctor was not concerned, since she said I was thin to begin with. Everyone is different, so if you gain nothing, that's totally normal and if you're a big fatty like me, that's totally normal too! 

When I found out I was pregnant I decided I needed to be as informed as possible about this whole process so I got a bunch of books.  Here are the ones I recommend:

Expecting Better: Why the Conventional Pregnancy Wisdom Is Wrong--and What You Really Need to Know 

by Emily Oster
This book is written by an economist who believes in data and numbers, so she tackles the literature on major topics in pregnancy (like how much booze is safe to drink?) and other things every mom-to-be wonders about. She cites published literature and I found it really useful and refreshing to have data on various questions instead of just someone's opinion. Everyone's got one of those, but not everyone has the hard numbers to back it up. Oster does, and it's very satisfying, especially for me as a scientist.


Making Babies: The Science of Pregnancy by David Bainbridge

This book tries to deliver the facts in a nature special-esque pleasant and historical package. The author is a little verbose at times, but I think the information is super interesting so it's totally tolerable. He goes into a lot of science history, like Mendl and the history of genetics, for those interested in that sort of thing, and also delves into fascinating topics like the differences in fertilization between various species of mammals - I had no idea we weren't all the same in that dept, so this was a particularly interesting section.  Damn it would be sweet to be a marsupial!  Although a vet and developmental biologist by training, Bainbridge's work is an easy read, written for the non-scientist, and has information that I haven't found in other books, like the stuff about marsupials.


The Science of Mom: A Research-Based Guide to Your Baby's First Year by Alice Green Callahan
This book starts out at birth and is similar to Oster's book above in that it presents the facts that you will need to base your important decisions on concerning your newborn. Callahan is a scientist by training and this is clear in how she presents the data and her own decisions. This is a great place to pick up where Oster's book left off.

Operation Procreation

 Some years ago the hubby (before he was the hubby) and I started this blog to help us feel connected while we maintained our long-distance relationship. He was in NYC and I was in Europe. Eventually I moved back to NYC and started a new PhD program and we forgot about the blog. Fast forward many years and now we're having a baby! After many weird health problems and deep obsessions with nutrition and fitness I'm finally pregnant!

I thought it an appropriate time to resurrect this blog to document all the excitement that is a first pregnancy. Lots of people have pregnancy blogs, so why read mine? For starters, you're probably my friend.... Also, my blog will feature a lot of cute pictures of my dog and cats, because they are obsessed with laying on me in my gravid state.  You can see Mischa laying in my Snoogle with me in the photo below, this is how she prefers to sleep.  Also, I'm a scientist, so I will attempt to populate this thing with interesting and factual information about what the hell is going on with my body and the thing growing inside me.

 I waited until now to start blogging about this because anything can happen in the first trimester. I will make a whole first trimester post shortly after this one, recounting all the wonder and glory and rainbows and unicorns that is the first trimester. I wanted to wait until after my nuchal translucency test, and that's out of the way and came back totally normal.  If you've never been pregnant or it's early in your pregnancy you may have never heard of a nuchal translucency test, but it's one of the earliest standard screening procedures that is done to get an idea of what the odds are that your fetus could have Down's syndrome.  I had that scan done at about 12 weeks.  I'm now 15 weeks and have the Level 2 detailed anatomy scan to look forwards to! I like these hi-tech sonogram appointments bc I get to see my baby, and that little stinker is quite active and always appears to be working out.  Go ahead kid, make Mommy feel bad because I only work out twice a week....

PS I am WAY bigger now than I was in that photo at the top of this post, although still in the stage where people might just think I've been doing a little too much carbo-loading...